Proverbs 19:10-12 (ESV)
10 It is not fitting for a fool to live in luxury,
much less for a slave to rule over princes.
11 Good sense makes one slow to anger,
and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
12 A king’s wrath is like the growling of a lion,
but his favor is like dew on the grass.
Blessings without wisdom are dangerous. Luxury is not fitting for a fool because she lacks the character to use it well. Instead of recognizing God’s gracious provision, she imagines that her prosperity is the result of her own effort. Rather than receiving wealth with gratitude and using it wisely, she becomes proud and self-sufficient. If wealth is dangerous in the hands of a fool, how much more dangerous is authority in the hands of someone unprepared to exercise it wisely? Without wisdom, both wealth and power become opportunities for self-gratification rather than for honoring God and serving others.
Next, Solomon describes the woman whose life is governed by good sense. She is slow to anger because she has learned to rule her own spirit. Rather than demanding revenge or insisting upon her rights, she is willing to overlook many offenses. This does not mean ignoring serious sin or pretending that wrong never happened. It means refusing to become consumed by every harsh word or personal offense. Solomon says such self-control is her glory. There is a quiet beauty in the woman who knows when to overlook an offense with grace.
Finally, Solomon contrasts the wrath and the favor of a king. A king’s anger could be as terrifying as the growl of a lion because he possessed the authority to punish. His favor, however, was like dew upon the grass, bringing refreshment and life in a dry land. Rather than provoking those in authority through foolish or sinful behavior, the wise woman seeks their favor by living with integrity and conducting herself above reproach.
Every one of us will be wronged. The question is not whether we will be offended, but how we will respond. Do you quickly become angry when someone criticizes you, overlooks you, or treats you unfairly? Or have you learned to overlook many offenses because you remember how much God has forgiven you? Solomon says that such self-control is a woman’s glory, a beauty and power that no amount of wealth or influence can ever produce.
We see this modeled out in Jesus. When he was insulted, “he continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:23). Because Jesus bore the punishment our sins deserved, we are now free to entrust our own wrongs to God instead of demanding revenge or clinging to resentment. The woman who reflects Christ does not have to settle every score because she knows the Judge of all the earth will do what is right.