Proverbs 20:17–19 (ESV)
17 Bread gained by deceit is sweet to a man,
but afterward his mouth will be full of gravel.
18 Plans are established by counsel;
by wise guidance wage war.
19 Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets;
therefore do not associate with a simple babbler.
Bread was the staple food of everyday life, and Solomon uses it to picture what we gain through deception. Bread gained by deceit tastes sweet at first. The dishonest woman may lie, cheat, manipulate, or even harm others to get what she wants or even needs. For a while, she enjoys the rewards of her deception and imagines it was worth it.
But that sweetness never lasts. Eventually, the bread turns to gravel in her mouth. Instead of satisfaction, she is left with something painful and destructive. What once seemed so desirable becomes something she longs to spit out. Sin always promises more than it can deliver. What appears to be a shortcut to blessing ultimately leaves us unsatisfied and full of regret.
Solomon then turns from dishonest gain to wise decision making. Important plans should never be made hastily or independently. They are established through careful counsel, and even a king should seek wise guidance before going to war. The woman who walks in wisdom does not assume she already has all the answers. She welcomes godly advice, receives correction with humility, and carefully weighs her decisions in light of God’s Word before moving forward.
The final proverb warns us about the danger of gossip. The person who goes about slandering others cannot be trusted because she reveals what was meant to remain confidential. Solomon therefore tells us not to associate with a babbler, someone who constantly talks and delights in spreading the latest news about others. The more we listen to gossip, the easier it becomes to excuse it and even join in.
Choose your closest companions carefully. If someone freely shares the private failures and struggles of others with you, she will likely do the same with yours. Instead, surround yourself with women whose words are marked by discretion and love. Be the kind of friend who protects another person’s reputation, guards confidential conversations, and earns the trust of those around you. A trustworthy woman is worth far more than the latest story.