Proverbs 17:27-28 (ESV)
27 Whoever restrains his words has knowledge,
and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.
28 Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise;
when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.
One of the clearest marks of wisdom is knowing not only when to speak but also when to remain silent. Solomon says that the woman with knowledge restrains her words. She does not feel compelled to express every thought, defend every opinion, or answer every criticism. Even when provoked, she exercises self control. Her measured words reveal a heart governed by wisdom rather than ruled by impulse.
Solomon also praises the woman with a “cool spirit.” Unlike the hot tempered person who reacts without thinking, she remains calm. She does not allow frustration to control her response or her emotions to dictate her words. Instead of speaking in the heat of the moment, she pauses long enough to consider the impact of what she is about to say. Her quiet restraint often keeps a small disagreement from becoming a major conflict.
The proverb then offers an almost humorous observation. Even a fool may appear wise if she simply keeps her mouth closed. Silence does not make someone wise, but it can keep foolishness from being put on full display. If that is true of the fool, how much more will the woman who walks in wisdom benefit from learning to restrain her words.
Think back over your conversations during the last few days. Were your words thoughtful, or were they driven by frustration, pride, or the desire to be heard? The same principle applies to what we write online. Before you post, comment, or respond, ask yourself whether your written words will honor Christ and benefit others. If the answer is no, step away from the keyboard and ask God to change your heart before you communicate.
Just because a thought enters your mind does not mean it should leave your mouth. Instead, weigh your words by the wisdom of God’s Word before you speak. Ask the Lord to give you a calm spirit and a guarded tongue. The woman who learns to speak less often speaks more wisely, for her quiet restraint reveals a heart that trusts God more than it trusts itself.