Proverbs 17:21-22 (ESV)
21 He who sires a fool gets himself sorrow,
and the father of a fool has no joy.
22 A joyful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Foolishness never affects only the fool. A son or daughter who rejects God’s wisdom brings sorrow not only upon herself but also upon those who love her most. Parents who have faithfully poured years of prayer, instruction, and love into their children grieve when they choose a path of foolishness. Consumed with her own desires, the fool gives little thought to the heartache her choices bring to those who care for her most.
A grieving parent is not necessarily a foolish parent. In fact, recognizing the foolishness of a child’s choices often reflects wisdom, not failure. Even the wisest mothers and fathers cannot force their children to love the Lord. Godly parents grieve because they understand the seriousness of the path their child has chosen. Such sorrow is not evidence of poor parenting but of genuine love.
Solomon then turns from sorrow to joy. “A joyful heart is good medicine.” This is not pretending life is easier than it is. Biblical joy is rooted in the unchanging character of God rather than the changing circumstances of life. Because the Lord is near, his people always have reason to rejoice (Philippians 4:4-5). Joy strengthens both the heart and, often, the body as well.
In contrast, a crushed spirit weighs heavily upon the whole person. Discouragement, despair, and prolonged grief affect not only our emotions but also our physical strength. Paul himself knew overwhelming affliction, yet he learned “not to rely on ourselves but on God who raises the dead” (2 Corinthians 1:9). Even in our darkest moments, God teaches his children to rest in his faithfulness rather than in their circumstances.
If your heart is heavy today, do not pretend your pain is insignificant. Bring it honestly before the Lord. Then lift your eyes to what can never be taken from you. In Christ your sins are forgiven, your name is written in heaven, and your Savior is near. Jesus reminded his disciples to rejoice because their names were written in heaven (Luke 10:20). When your circumstances tempt you toward despair, remember your great salvation. Ask God to fill your heart with the joy that comes from knowing him, and let that joy overflow into the lives of those around you.
This is such an encouraging post for those of us with kids who have strayed from their upbringing in the church. It is hard not to consider having failed, but the work is God’s work and he, in his sovereignty, will change hearts as he sees fit. Thank you, Stephanie, for this ongoing Proverbs blog and your wisdom!
I am having such a great time studying the Proverbs, and once again, God is using them to challenge my own heart. Thanks for reading along, friend!