Proverbs 16:28-30 (ESV)
28 A dishonest man spreads strife,
and a whisperer separates close friends.
29 A man of violence entices his neighbor
and leads him in a way that is not good.
30 Whoever winks his eyes plans dishonest things;
he who purses his lips brings evil to pass.
Solomon warns that some people use their words not to heal relationships but to destroy them. A “dishonest man” is literally a perverse person, someone who deliberately twists what is good into evil. Instead of promoting peace, she spreads strife wherever she goes. She gladly speaks words that cast others in a bad light, leaving behind deep hurt, broken relationships, and unnecessary conflict.
Solomon then describes “a whisperer” who separates close friends. The Hebrew word nirgan, translated “whisperer,” refers to one who quietly murmurs against others. She lowers her voice, shares gossip, and pretends she is merely confiding in a trusted friend. God takes such divisive behavior seriously, even commanding the church to reject those who persist in stirring up division (Titus 3:10). Both the whisperer and the one who eagerly listens bear responsibility for the damage that follows.
The destructive influence of an ungodly person rarely remains isolated. The violent person entices her neighbor and leads her down the same sinful path. Rather than grieving over her own rebellion, she encourages others to join her in it. Paul describes this same pattern when he condemns those who not only practice sin but also “give approval to those who practice them” (Romans 1:32). Sin seeks company.
Even the deepest forms of evil can hide beneath the surface. Solomon describes a person who winks her eye and purses her lips as she devises evil. What appears to be an innocent expression may actually be a secret signal advancing a hidden scheme. The victim may know nothing of the conversations taking place behind her back, but God sees it all. Not one motive escapes his notice.
Before you repeat a story, share a concern, or hint at another person’s failures, stop and examine your motives. Are your words intended to restore or to divide? Are you protecting another person’s reputation as carefully as you protect your own? If you have participated in gossip, slander, or manipulation, confess your sin to the Lord and seek forgiveness from those you have harmed. If you have been wounded by the sinful words of others, remember that your cries do not go unheard. What is whispered in secret will one day be brought into the light. Until then, humbly trust the Lord, knowing that he will vindicate his people in his perfect time.