Proverbs 15:18-20 (ESV)
18 A hot-tempered man stirs up strife,
but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.
19 The way of a sluggard is like a hedge of thorns,
but the path of the upright is a level highway.
20 A wise son makes a glad father,
but a foolish man despises his mother.
Solomon begins by contrasting a hot-tempered person with one who is slow to anger. The hot-tempered individual is unable to control her emotions. She is easily provoked, quick to retaliate, and often responds to conflict with more conflict. Rather than calming a tense situation, she stirs up strife. Her anger fuels arguments, deepens divisions, and turns small disagreements into larger conflicts. Those who fail to control their anger and resentment often create chaos wherever they go.
The wise woman responds very differently. She is slow to anger and seeks to quiet contention rather than inflame it. She does not repay harsh words with harsher words or retaliate when attacked. Instead, she exercises self control and responds thoughtfully rather than impulsively. As Romans 12:18 instructs, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” While she cannot control the actions of others, she often helps subdue conflict by bringing calmness and restraint into difficult situations. Her patience promotes peace and helps restore harmony to strained relationships.
Verse 19 addresses laziness. Solomon describes the way of a sluggard as “a hedge of thorns.” Anyone who has ever brushed against a thorn bush knows how painful it can be. The sluggard views life this way. Every responsibility seems too difficult, every obstacle too great, and every task deserving of another excuse. In contrast, “the path of the upright is a level highway.” Her path is clear and open before her, allowing her to move forward steadily without continually stumbling, swerving, or being sidetracked by obstacles. Rather than making excuses, she diligently presses forward and accomplishes what needs to be done.
Finally, Solomon reminds us that wisdom affects our families. A wise son honors his parents. He makes his father glad because he embraces godly instruction and lives accordingly. A foolish son, however, despises his mother. He rejects her counsel, ignores her warnings, and is calloused to the grief his choices cause. The wise child brings joy to his parents, while the foolish child brings them sorrow and heartache.
What about you? Are you ruled by your emotions, or are you exercising self control? Success in the Christian life is often determined by our willingness to submit our desires and impulses to God’s word. The wise woman does not allow feelings of anger, frustration, or resentment to dictate her actions. Instead, she chooses responses that honor Christ, promote peace, diligently fulfill her responsibilities, and bring joy rather than sorrow to those around her. Wisdom is not found in following our feelings, but in faithfully obeying God.