Proverbs 5:15-17 (ESV)
15 Drink water from your own cistern,
flowing water from your own well.
16 Should your springs be scattered abroad,
streams of water in the streets?
17 Let them be for yourself alone,
and not for strangers with you.
The father does not merely warn his son about the forbidden woman. He also directs his desires. He turns to God’s good design for sexual intimacy within marriage. In the ancient world, a cistern was a carefully constructed reservoir used to store rainwater, and a well was a deep, reinforced source of fresh water. Both were prized possessions, privately owned and carefully guarded. So too a man’s wife. She is his own source of refreshment. The repeated emphasis falls on your own, as in your own cistern and your own well. The son is to find satisfaction with his own wife, not with another man’s. Do not go searching for polluted waters. Do not trade what is pure for what will corrode your soul.
Then the father presses his point with a question. Should your springs be scattered abroad? Should what belongs in the privacy of the marriage covenant spill into the streets? The answer is obvious. No. What God designed for intimacy is not to be shared. Sexual union is exclusive. Just as a husband would grieve at the thought of his wife giving herself to another, so he must not give himself away.
The boundary of marriage for sexual intimacy is nonnegotiable. Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. Marriage is not a casual arrangement. According to Ephesians 5:31-32, the one flesh union of husband and wife is a picture of Christ and his church. Sexual faithfulness is not only about personal morality but reflects the covenant faithfulness of Christ himself. Though this subject may feel uncomfortable, it matters greatly to God and therefore must matter to us.
There is also a warning here about discontentment. Our flesh often longs for what it does not have. When single, we may crave sexual intimacy. When married, we may grow indifferent, neglecting the gift God has given. Or worse, we may imagine something new or exciting elsewhere. All of it reveals a heart that resists contentment. The problem is not God’s design. It is our restless desires.
So if you are single, wait. Trust that God’s commands are good. Do not scatter what belongs in covenant. If you are married, cultivate your intimacy. Do not neglect one another. Protect time together. Pursue one another with joy. Sexual intimacy in marriage is a gift from God to be received with gratitude and guarded with seriousness. Whether single or married, honor God with your body and trust his design.